Self Love

The definition of self love is a state of appreciation for yourself that grows from actions that support our mind, body, and spirit. Self love is very crucial. Yet so many of us neglect it. Lack of self love can lead to serious health conditions, mentally and physically.

Self love starts with practice. Mindfulness is the key to self love. Becoming aware of your thoughts and where they’re coming from. This means addressing your fears and insecurities. As well as forgiving yourself for having them.

Most of the time this comes from trying to be a perfectionist. Studies have shown that this leads to serious health conditions and much shorter life expectancy. Accept that perfection doesn’t exist and own your flaws. If you own your flaws no one can use them against you.

This leads to a very important next step. Don’t worry about the opinions of others. Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. If you’re living your life to please others you’re not busy living. Therefore you’re living someone else’s life.

How to practice self love

As we mentioned above being mindful is a valuable asset. Being mindful of how we talk to ourself is monumental. How do you talk to yourself? What do you think about yourself? I am and what follows those words creates your reality. You’re literally speaking it into existence. Stop with the negative self talk, and be mindful of it, and when you catch it replace it with something positive.

Prioritising yourself. Are you putting others before yourself? It’s not selfish to put you first. If you’re not at a 100% you can’t be expected to take care of anyone else. You need to be at 100% to give. At the end of the day how much of you is left for you? Don’t forget to make time for yourself. Take a nice bath with essential oils and or other aroma therapy scents. This can be as simple as taking a break from work. And more importantly learning how to say NO!

Things to focus on

Sometimes we judge ourselves too harshly. That inner critic turns into a nasty bully. There is no need to judge yourself. You have to learn to accept yourself for who you are and what you are. One of the techniques that helps with this is standing in front of mirror. Look at yourself and mentally change the things you don’t like about yourself. Fall in love with yourself. This will lead to you becoming your own best friend.

Trusting yourself is the next step. This means you look after your own needs. You learn to treat yourself with love and compassion, rather than striving for perfection. In trusting yourself you’ll find that strength that helps you clear the obstacles standing in your way. Respect your values, interests, and skills they’re a part of you. This will lead to confidence in your own identity and decisions.

Healthy boundaries

This isn’t as hard as you might think. You’ll read all over the web how hard this blah blah blah. No Sir (or ma’am) it’s about practice. The more you practice being mindful and practicing trusting yourself the easier it gets. Almost naturally you’ll start establishing healthier boundaries. You start valuing your time and energy. You’ll start saying no to people more often, and it’ll feel good. Furthermore you’ll learn about yourself and will know what you will no longer tolerate. As well as your limits. Finally you’ll have to start this process early in any relationship. This is because you’ll start that relationship on a solid foundation.

Not setting healthy boundaries means you’re not being true to yourself. For example, if you know you don’t like something but allow someone to do it that’s not being true to yourself. Consequently this will lead to more of the same. However, once you apply healthy boundaries and are being true to yourself you start to realise your worth.

Be nice to yourself

Being nice to yourself means talking to yourself like you’d talk to a friend. It also means not putting yourself down. Because what you say affects you at a cellular level. Above all this means putting yourself first. Most importantly you need to spoil yourself and treat yourself in moderation. Of course this means don’t over do it on the good stuff. Its ok to splurge however you want to make sure you are being nice to your body. Its not selfish to put yourself first and raise your moral so you can continue to give. Remember to give to yourself as much as you give to others.

Take some time to practice some yoga. You may also want to practice some self care. This means getting your hair done. Or getting your nails done. In addition to hygiene you can also treat yourself to and item, food, or do something you’ve been wanting to do. In the same fashion you can even start to learn a new skill that contributes to your overall health. For instance, you can start learning Reiki, Qi Gong, or Ti Chi.

It doesn’t stop there. Self love also requires you to practice facing your fears and insecurities. As well as avoiding stress. In addition you’ll need to make sure you’re getting enough rest or sleep. As addressed previously you’ll need to practice saying no. Further more meditation can help you relax and really connect you to your inner world.

Final thoughts

Lastly we will be covering Diet and exercise. Self love starts with what you put into your body. When you practice self love its ok to treat yourself every now and again to something nice. Your body is a temple and that means you need to maintain it. You want make sure you don’t use recreational drugs or alcohol. Make sure you’re not working yourself too hard. Exercise can help you not only to get in shape but also to burn off stress.

Self love is the key to finding a lasting relationship. If you don’t love yourself how can you expect anyone else to? You need to love yourself, respect yourself, value yourself, practice self care and self preservation. You need to be conformable with yourself and fall in love with yourself. Become your own best friend. When you love yourself you don’t need anyone else. Having someone is a bonus. When you raise your vibration you’ll instantly attract what matches that frequency. You’ll notice the toxic people will vanish out of your life. This opens the doors for those who love themselves, respect themselves, take care of themselves, and because they do they’ll have that for you.

The benefits of practicing self love are remarkable. Studies have shown many adverse side effects of perfectionism. Not taking care of yourself can lead to a lower life expectancy. However when we practice self love we decrease stress and reduces depression and anxiety. It has also be shown to dramatically improve your mental health.

If you’re looking to treat yourself you can check out the Reiki section, and the spiritual coaching section. You can also visit or

1 Comment

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